英语专四 阅读真题文章
阅读一Text A or C?
Windows Setup CD
It was late in the afternoon, and I was putting the final burnishes on a piece of writing that I was feeling pretty good about. Yes, okay, it was an e-mail, but it was a clever one and I hated to lose it. My cursor had frozen. I tried to shut the computer down, and it seized up altogether. Unsure of what else to do, I yanked the battery out.
Unfortunately, Windows had been in the midst of a delicate and crucial undertaking. The next morning, when I turned my computer back on, it informed me that a file had been corrupted and Windows would not load. More graciously, it offered to repair itself by using the Windows Setup CD.
I opened the special drawer where I keep CDs. But no Windows CD. I was forced to call the computer company's Global Support Center. My call was answered by a woman in some unnamed, far-off land. I find it vexing to make small talk with someone when I don't know what continent they're standing on. Suppose I were to comment on the beautiful weather we've been having when there was a monsoon at the other end of the phone? So I got right to the point.
"My computer is telling me a file is corrupted and it wants to fix itself, but I don't have the Windows Setup CD."
"So you're having a problem with your Windows Setup CD." She had apparently been dozing and, having come to just as the sentence ended, was attempting to cover for her inattention. I recognized the technique from a thousand breakfast conversations.
It quickly became clear that the woman was not a computer technician. Her job was to serve as a gatekeeper, a human shield for the techs, who were off in the back room, or possibly another far-off continent, playing cards and burning CDs for their friends. Her sole duty, as far as I could tell, was to raise global stress levels.
To make me disappear, the woman gave me the phone number for Windows' creator, Microsoft. This is like giving someone the phone number for, I don't know, North America. Besides, the CD worked; I just didn't have it. No matter how many times I repeated my story, we came back to the same place. She was unflappable and resolutely polite.
When my voice hit a certain decibel, I was passed along, like a hot, irritable potato, to a technician.
"You don't have the Windows Setup CD, ma'am, because you don't need it," he explained cheerfully. "Windows came preinstalled on your computer!"
"But I do need it."
"Yes, but you don't have it."
We went on like this for a while. Finally, he offered to walk me through the use of a different CD, one that would erase my entire system. "Of course, you'd lose all your e-mail, your documents, your photos." It was like offering to drop a safe on my head to cure my headache. "You might be able to recover them, but it would be expensive." He sounded delighted. "And it's not covered by the warranty!" The safe began to seem like a good idea, provided it was full.
I hung up the phone and drove my computer to a small, friendly repair place I'd heard about. A smart, helpful man dug out a Windows CD and told me it wouldn't be a problem. An hour later, he called to let me know it was ready. I thanked him, and we chatted about the weather, which was the same outside my window as it was outside his.
英语专四 阅读真题文章
So, a cellphone. Any cellphone. Just pick it up. Don't dial. Just hold that phone to your face and start talking. Walk confidently down the hall engaged in fake conversation, making sure to tailor both the tenor and content to the person standing before you whom you are trying to evade.2For standard colleague avoidance, I suggest fake chatting about fake business:
"Yes, and that's why I'm glad you called, because we really need to hammer out the details. What's that? Yes, I read Page 12, but if you look at the bottom of 4, I think you can see the problem begins right there."
Be animated. Be engrossed in your fake fone conversation. Make eye contact with the people passing, nod to them, gesture keen interest in talking to them at a later time, 3point to your phone, shrug and move on.
Shoppers should consider fake foning anytime they spot a talky neighbor in the produce department pinching unripe peaches. Without your phone at your face, you'd be in for a 20-minute speech on how terrible the world is.
Singles feeling shy about entering a bar to meet the cute woman sitting in the window should fake fone their way into that bar, fake chat their way right toward the cute one, using fake fone conversation such as: "Thank you. Yeah, I feel really good about the award. I know, it's a lot of money. Maybe I can buy that houseboat! Just kidding. I'll donate the first million to the refugees who so desperately need it, then invest."
You'd want, of course, to carry this fake conversation on at a high volume as you approach the cute one. And then you should pretend your fake caller has to go, leaving you abruptly alone. Look sad. If the cute one starts up a conversation with you and asks you about the award or the refugees, well, you're on your own.4
One important caution about fake foning. The other day I was fake foning my way past a colleague, and he was actually following me to get my attention. I knew he wanted to ask about a project I had not yet finished. I was trying to buy myself some time, so I continued fake foning with my doctor. "So I don't need the operation? Oh, doctor, that is the best news."
And then: Brrrrrrng! Brrrrrrng! Brrrrrrng! My phone started ringing, right there while it was planted on my face. My colleague looked at me, and I at him, and naturally I gasped. "What is the matter with this thing?" I said, pulling the phone away to look at it, and then putting it back to my ear.
"Hello? Are you still there?"
Oops
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