会计考友 发表于 2012-8-15 12:31:56

名师指导:GRE作文漏洞如何修补02

And the mainstream science plays the very vital role to provide people with reasonable methods. These science are based on practical experiments, carefully analize and reasoning. They may not seem as good as those nonmainstream areas in satisfying human needs, but under their artless face they give people real help.
语言修改
On the other hand, science plays the very vital role of providing people with reasoned methods to conduct life. Science is based on practical experiments, careful analysis, and reasoning. They may not seem as miraculous as nonmainstream areas in satisfying human needs, but under their artless face they give people real help.
gre作文内容点评及修改
这一段大问题跟前面类似,只是提出了主流的科学给人们提供合理的方法。这些科学是基于实验,仔细的分析和逻辑的方法的。它们看上去不如非主流的追求那样满足人们的追求,但是却能给人提供真正的帮助。这是作者的观点,但是没有具体说明科学是如何给人们提供合理的方法,缺乏真正能够支持论点的实例。下面的修改范例在内容上对原稿进行了补充。不仅提出科学不像那些迷信那样能够给人们提供奇迹的、不可思议的方法,但是在科学朴实的外表之下它能够给人们带来真正的帮助,并例举了
具体的科学门类所给人们提供的帮助。
gre作文修改范例
On the other hand, the history of mankind has amply demonstrated that, science based on experiments and analysis, provide people with reasoned methods to conduct life. Psychology explains human behavior. Sociology enlightens people on their relationship with their surrounding environment. Modern medicine has advanced so much that it is now possible to predict cancer even before a child is born.
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