a我考网

 找回密码
 立即注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

扫一扫,访问微社区

查看: 113|回复: 0

[BEC初级] 2010年商务英语考试名师点评网友作文(8)

[复制链接]
发表于 2012-8-14 20:05:42 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
   本期作文题目:  You are a regional salesman for an office equipment supplier. You are organising your schedule for visiting your existing clients next month.
5 M: K/ H' N) E9 G4 I( H3 ~( X  Write an e-mail of 40-50 words to one of your clients:$ r4 Y0 @2 T6 O1 \! _, b
  *explaining why you would like to visit them
- \4 j- W" ]& G- D; t( U* O  *proposing a time to visit
2 I6 K: E2 g# R8 m: r! v  Z/ u# x  *asking them to suggest an alternative if necessary.. i* h( p' \0 }% x, D4 |
  Sample:
' G' ~0 `. z0 M0 I  Dear Mr. Shultz:
/ c- c: a! t+ n/ ?5 ^$ j  Our new catalogue is now ready. I will be in your city on 16th December and would be able to visit your office to discuss our special Winter offers with you then. Please let me know if this would be convenient or contact me to suggest an alternative.; B' q7 C* N& q& V
  网友作文一:
* R. U: W8 H2 E4 o  k7 u+ w2 N* a  Dear Mr. Smith,( W5 v( i2 Q+ [2 ]. p
  I would like to visit you to discuss about the detail price and function of our office equipment that you want to buy. So I am planning to visit you at this weekend. [1] Is it available for you? If it is not,[2] please suggest me an alternative. With best regards,0 F4 M5 v$ ~/ ^3 s& [( ]
  Yours sincerely,
8 P- J2 T0 a3 P, }3 s% a  Ellen8 ~! S+ A. R( h7 y
  [1]啰嗦。如果要用定语从句,建议改为:that we offered. 后句去掉。- ^9 e9 }" b) r# b' j0 t
  [2]合二为一。If that is not available for you, please suggest an alternative.8 ~; s% M; J# F
  网友作文二:* \2 Z2 F5 I( E4 F3 @! R% ^
  To: Jim- d8 [7 z. d* o' W8 G. n
  From: Sant
2 e# t7 e. s: x( D  Subject: Visiting Schedule0 `/ j& b- ]7 F( g
  In order to talk with you on the conditions and items of the insurance policy, I attempt to visit you on 22th November. Provided that the date is unconvenient for you ,do not hesitate to suggest me the alternative days. [1]: w! N  A5 i% V
  Regards!
/ k+ N% @8 p6 C9 M+ E1 u9 J% _  [1]这个过去分词出师无名,句子主体是没有主语的,这是祈使句。建议把句子补齐,把主语添上。
回复

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

本版积分规则

Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|Woexam.Com ( 湘ICP备18023104号 )

GMT+8, 2024-11-1 07:30 , Processed in 0.430792 second(s), 22 queries .

Powered by Discuz! X3.4 Licensed

© 2001-2017 Comsenz Inc.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表