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[GRE写作] GRE考试:issue官方范文(三)2

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发表于 2012-8-15 12:52:21 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
 The world, as a whole, ignores them.  
2 g  f9 V4 Z  u5 s, N  One would hope, however, that governments, perhaps through a strengthened U.N., could somehow be forced to realize that when the Earth reaches the critical mass of pollution, it may be too late to do anything about it.
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8 i/ i. e& w& s; R3 z* S6 x# x7 Q1 [  That would be a "common tragedy" indeed.. o4 Q! Q1 [$ i" q& W! [6 \* `

/ X' N1 W! C* x  x  评价: M# N$ ^" ?. V4 w7 m% b8 ~( e

" i% D; n# d7 T  This excellent response displays an in-depth analysis of the issue and superior facility with language.
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  While acknowledging that environmental problems are serious and of global dimensions, the essay explores the complexity of international cooperation.
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  Such cooperation, the essay argues, runs into a variety of problems, and the writer offers persuasive examples to support that point:8 O2 M( M; N+ f+ m% x0 r

2 [; L' }! o% _' G- D/ \2 @$ O$ z5 ?* r+ x  -- the unwillingness of nations to "interfere" with other nations through political measures such as restriction of foreign aid0 a) {8 M* P' p1 m1 Q/ }6 o! E' E
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  -- inadequate environmental regulations, which are caused both by "the differential impact of polluting activities" between countries and regions and by the difficulty of comparing the "long-term effects of polluting actitivities" with the more easily documented, short-term costs of reducing pollution.
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  The essay distinguishes itself in part by its excellent organization.& C7 f, p- J! S0 a

0 a" H, h. \4 |( f; X% m9 K  The first paragraph analyzes the claim and announces the writer's position; the second and third paragraphs provide clear examples supporting that position.
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4 e/ P) m( {# H) {  The skillful use of a quotation from a business person vividly illustrates the economic impact of pollution controls.) c& D* I4 e+ K

4 l/ d/ {+ d3 D# ^' G1 T; ?+ \4 \  The last two paragraphs bring a sense of closure to the essay by continuing the theme announced in the first paragraph -- that cooperation must wait until more dire circumstances produce the political will necessary to reduce pollution.6 Q8 F' A+ \# b) b* C
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  The essay exhibits superior control of grammar and syntax, with only minor errors.  _6 Q- m( S. y7 {

4 x9 C6 {! ]9 P, z8 Z3 T; b  Transitional phrases -- "because," "however," "for instance" -- help guide the reader through the argument.5 b4 j, `" ?" B6 x

+ \' j! T! i" O  Also, effective sentence variety and the use of precise word choice help confirm the score of 6.
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$ J, j/ a; t: ~, o7 ]  `% ~6 y  5、At no other time then in our present time has the need for unity and togetherness been more necessary to the inhabitants on our planet.$ L& A: r: i6 G1 m; Z
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  For many decades the motto has been one of waste and denial.) I) P. S( A5 n5 u  \9 P

& ]/ f; b  p7 Z5 |: w  The world is in a race - racing to become number one - racing to destroy the earth.
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