新GRE考试Issue主题范文整理（6）3 K, O) ~% P9 u( q# a: U" }
Reader Commentary for Essay Response — Score 4( C$ p; A8 B; f" n
This essay meets all the criteria of a level-4 essay. The writer develops a clear position ("Using technology to solve our problems will continue to help us realize our potential as a human race"). The position is then developed with relevant reasons ("using technology to solve more complicat[ed] problems gives humans a chance to expand their thinking and learning" and "we are seeing a golden age of technology").来自www.Examw.com1 r/ E. X8 l. g% v3 j) s0 b
Point 1, "using technology," is supported with the simple but relevant notion that technology allows us access to information and abilities to which we would not normally have access. Similarly, point 2, the "golden age," is supported by the basic description of our technologically saturated social condition. Though the overall development and organization of the essay does suffer from an occasional misdirection (see paragraph 3's abrupt progression from coffee pots to the benefits of technology to cars), the essay as a whole flows smoothly and logically from one idea to the next.# p3 y& p& b) i N3 u; p
It is useful to compare this essay to the level-3 essay presented next. Though both essays entail some surface-level discussion and often fail to probe deeply into the issue, this writer does take the analysis a step further. In paragraph 2, the distinction between this essay and the next one (the level-3 response) can most clearly be seen. To support the notion that advances in technology actually help increase thinking ability, the writer draws a clever parallel between the promise of modern, sophisticated technology (computer) and the actual "impact" of equally "promising" and pervasive technologies of the past (printing press).
1 k6 a/ [5 z2 U7 w3 b( B9 l Like the analysis, the language in this essay clearly meets the requirements for a score of 4. The writer displays sufficient control of language and the conventions of standard written English. The preponderance of mistakes are of a cosmetic nature ("trying to solve more complicating problems.") There is a sentence fragment ("Going off ...") along with a comma splice ("Our ability ... isn't deteriorating, it's continuing to grow ...") in paragraph 3. However, these errors are minor and do not interfere with the clarity of the ideas being presented |
发表于 2012-8-15 12:52:21
