八级翻译试题及一些翻译练习（1）

会计考友

　　全国英语专业八级考试（TEM8）的翻译部分（汉译英）原文全文如下：
　　得病以前，我受父母宠爱，在家中横行霸道，一旦隔离，拘禁在花园山坡上一幢小房子里，我顿感打入冷宫，十分郁郁不得志起来。一个春天的傍晚，园中百花怒放，父母在园中设宴，一时宾客云集，笑语四溢。我在山坡的小屋里，悄悄掀起窗帘，窥见园中大千世界，一片繁华，自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄，也穿插其间，个个喜气洋洋。一霎时，一阵被人摒弃，为世所遗的悲愤兜上心头，禁不住痛哭起来。
　　阅学生之译文，笔者发现有一个问题值得我们教师注意，即如何在动笔翻译前，能迅速正确地确定英译的主语。如：
　　1. 得病以前，我受父母宠爱，在家中横行霸道。
6 u; W( ^) n5 c# D% Q9 A3 ^2 c+ f, A　　学生译文（以下简称“学译”）：Before the illness， I was much petted by parents， doing everything at will in the home.
- g3 [, A& v, n　　学译：Before I became ill， I have received all the favor of my parents， just like a little tyrant at home.
; `* D0 `0 k: r0 G, h　　参考译文：Before I fell ill， I had been the bully under our roofs owing to my doting parents.
　　我们知道，汉语表达大多为“意合”结构，结构松散，以一个一个看似并列的短句“拼凑而成，彼此逻辑关系不明显；但英语则不同于汉语，它是形合语言，非常讲究句子内部的逻辑关系的”外化“，所谓”外化“，即，使用Connectives来表现其逻辑关系。我国译界有一个着名比喻：汉语句子的结构像”竹竿“，是一节接一节的；而英语句子则像”葡萄“，主干很短，而”挂“在上面的附加成分则很多。可以说，汉译英的过程，是一个由”竹竿“向”葡萄“转换的过程。首先要确定”一节接一节“的汉语句子，选其中的哪一节为英句的”（葡萄）主干“。
　　上面的汉语原句就含有一定的逻辑关系。“受父母宠爱”是因，而“在家中横行霸道”则是果。“果”应是全句的重心，英译上句，“（葡萄）主干”当选定“在家中横行霸道”而非学生译文所选的“我受父母宠爱”。
7 X/ r9 x" S, Z6 m5 u, e　　2. 一旦隔离，拘禁在花园山坡上一幢小房子里，我顿感打入冷宫，十分郁郁不得志起来。
# u% T! \% E& @3 f　　学译：When isolated and taken into custody in a small house on the hillside of our garden， I felt like I was abandoned， getting more and more depressed.
　　学译：As soon as I was kept apart in a small flat built on the hillside in the garden， I suddenly felt being consigned to limbo， gloomily and disappointedly.
5 S+ ^, `4 r' j9 i) u　　参考译文：Feeling like being deposed into a cold palace， I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration immediately after I was segregated and confined in a small house on a hillside in our garden.
: W9 e% B# h! ~5 Y/ n: o　　汉语原句有“四节”，哪一部分应该成为英句之“主干”？“我顿感打入冷宫”，还是“十分郁郁不得志起来”？学译都把“我顿感打入冷宫”处理为“主干”，而参考译文则反其道而行之。细细分析，“十分郁郁不得志起来”和 “我顿感打入冷宫”，两者也有主次关系。显然，“十分郁郁不得志起来”为主，“我顿感打入冷宫”为次。两者之间，不仅存在时间先后的顺序，而且还存在着逻辑上的“因果”。因此，参考译文处理得当。另一个值得参考之处在于：“主干”（I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration）的前后均有附加成分，句子显出“平衡美”。
3 [6 A" a0 M3 |- y6 {! s　　3. 一个春天的傍晚，园中百花怒放，父母在园中设宴，一时宾客云集，笑语四溢。
　　学译：At one dusk in spring， flowers were blooming wildly in the garden， my parents were holding a banquet， in which guests were gathering， laughters could be heard everywhere.
　　学译：On a spring evening， hundreds of flowers were in full bloom in the garden where my parents hosted a banquet. For a while， guests gathered in large number， laughing and talking， which could be heard clearly.
　　参考译文：On a spring evening， my parents gave a banquet in the garden where a profusion of flowers were in full bloom. In no time， a crowd of their guests collected and laughter was heard all over there.
. `& s+ Q$ h* P' g8 u, T
/ ]% {, A9 f4 b; m" G) h, Y　　汉语原句的“节数”增加到“五节”。译成英语，仍应确定正确的“主干”，两个“学译”不谋而合，将“园中百花怒放”，而不是“父母在园中设宴”作为“主干”来处理。读来，给人一种观比萨斜塔的感觉。相比之下，参考译文则给人一种美感，散发出浓郁的英语味。原因很简单，参考译文选对了英译之“主干” （my parents gave a banquet in the garden）。另外一个值得记取的经验是：汉语原句出现了一个句号，因此80%左右的学生译文，也亦步亦趋，硬性译成了一句，以上两句“学译”也不例外。复观参考译文，我们发现，被处理成两句，从容之中，更多了些干练！

会计考友

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