写作指导：2011年商务英语考试写作讲议第二讲(2)

会计考友

　　4.具体(Concreteness)
　　(1) 尽可能地提供明确、具体的信息。
　　A. These brakes can stop a car within a short distance.
7 @; @" A3 D2 F) H0 H9 s. [0 X4 \　　　 These Goodson power brakes can stop a 2-ton car within 24 feet.
' _3 ^& a- h3 e* [1 X: b　　B. We hope the equipment will be delivered to our company as soon as possible.
/ t! H1 g( i8 ?- j" T: K5 |　　    Please deliver the equipment to our company before next Friday.
　　C. She is a fast typist.
. B4 s' @/ l  e+ \& m　　 　She types at the fast rate of 85 words per minute.
. H  T  Q; I( s4 S5 h6 @$ X) M　　(2) 使用具体词汇
. n: s0 N: A9 D1 |$ H4 _% P　　A. We have no hesitation in advising you…
( ]" p' }. v' K8 w& R: d/ s　　　We advise you…
　　B. The preparation of new price scale is in hand.
　　　New price scales are being prepared this week.
　　C. Due to the unusual nature of the request,…
- |& N9 ~4 b$ ?　　　As the request is unusual,…
　　a great deal of time, bad, large, good, small, around, old, convenient, young, little, majority, minority, most, less
　　5.完整(Completeness)
　　自查：谁(Who)? 什么(What)? 什么时候(When)? 在哪里(Where)? 为什么(Why)? 怎么样(How)?
　　6.礼貌(Courtesy)
& @" x- j9 T2 ~/ g( x8 j+ e　　例如：
　　Dear Mrs. Walters,
　　Because you delayed so long in your response, Model GSF is off stock. If you are interested, we have some similar models on hand
1 G5 @/ G. [; N+ m& y+ r　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Yours truly,
$ [) X& \; h1 O- W- t8 n1 v9 f4 W  R　　修改：
9 P7 u+ H* U- W$ H9 \　　Dear Mrs. Walters
: N  f% q  o+ p- a% }　　If I had known your needs before May 20, I could have shipped Model GSP immediately. However, the spring sale drained our stock.
　　The Model GSK, a similar instrument, is in stock, and you could have it at the same price as the GSF. It normally sells for $10,000 more. we will ship it as soon as you give us the word.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Yours sincerely
　　(1) 使用礼貌友好的词汇
　　A. 说“Thank you" , 例如:
　　Thank you for your letter of yesterday.
　　Thank you for your prompt reply.
　　Thank you for helping us in this respect.
+ \7 h5 C: q8 H, j# [) x　　Thank you for your information.
6 l( D; G6 {4 P& @, D$ a, @　　(2)体谅对方的写作态度(You-Attitude)
　　Writer emphasis: We are shipping your order on Friday.
% N; u* z8 H  [0 a4 p3 k2 c　　Reader emphasis: You will receive your order by Monday, October 10.
, ^* N/ K: }0 _: z　　Writer emphasis: To reduce our costs, we are changing the billing system.
/ m; _& `% b7 n8 G! H# D　　Reader emphasis: To provide you with clear records, we are changing our billing system.
　　Writer emphasis: I was pleased to hear that the project was completed.
　　Reader emphasis: Congratulations on successfully completing the project
　　Writer emphasis: We regret that you closed your account with us a week ago. We believe that people may come back to our bank again sooner or later since we have a good credit among our customers.
% r1 p1 b6 _" ^- I3 |# L　　Reader emphasis: A week ago you closed your account with us. Whatever the reason, we are pleased to have played some small part in your program. You are cordially invited to use our 'other services as occasion may require.
　　(3) 措辞得体(Appropriate Wording)
　　a.避免采用消极性的词汇或句式
, i. F& h% u- P6 ^: v6 ]　　Negative Wording: The office is closed after four O'clock,
% w& P; C+ e- N  k　　Positive Wording: The office is open until four O'clock.
0 I  N* K% _% ^　　Negative Wording: When I received your complaint, I checked our records.
　　Positive Wording: When I received your letter, I checked our records.
　　Negative Wording: Because you failed to connect the cable, the picture was blurred.
+ V! J1 j4 g/ o" z　　Positive Wording: The picture was blurred because the V-2 cable was not connected to the terminal.
( O4 \1 K& B7 `. X" ~　　Negative Wording: You did not read my recent letter.
　　Positive Wording: Please refer to my June 10th letter.
　　Negative Wording: The Executive Board did not receive notification.
5 ~6 p  L3 {2 C) v6 f! ~  Q　　Positive Wording: Several members of the Executive Board inquired about the time of our December meeting. Will you please send them a follow-up?
' B: N- v6 @* X1 W　　Negative Wording: Your letter was not clear.
) |1 _  o: E5 e* C　　Positive Wording: I would appreciate an outline of our marketing differences that you mentioned in your October 14th letter.
　　b.有失礼貌的言词
3 o$ g) ?0 T! c; P0 Z& I　　We deny your claim　　　complaint
+ ^  i: P0 E0 N9 ~　　We do not believe　　　 confusion
　　We are not sure　　　 contrary
　　We find it difficult to understand　　contrivance
6 Q7 b5 ^$ w  q' @9 D# d# J　　We expect　　　　delinquent
' @$ u% v. k% q- ]　　We insist　　　　 deny
. |. m0 C0 ^6 Z$ L) [$ h/ {$ ]* g/ d　　We are forced　　　　disagreeable
! h! ]0 K# ]8 w0 v) k　　We take issue　　　　exasperate
/ V2 W* Z5 Y8 Q& y! \　　You forgot　　　　failure
　　You neglected　　　　ignorance
　　You failed to　　　　impatience
　　You misunderstood　　　 incompetent
　　You must　　　　 incredible
5 |5 t2 @2 U6 k" O$ y' A& D4 ^　　You should know　　　 inexcusable
　　You do not have　　　 inference
9 n' C2 g; h" O! w　　You are delinquent　　　 insincere
　　You insist that　　　　insinuate
# y; M; g$ O, F4 ^5 J/ r, B　　You did not say　　　 insulting
　　Your ignoring　　　　intolerable
8 K0 l1 Q8 H0 k$ E& K6 N+ }6 q* Y- ~　　Your credit refusal　　　 irresponsible
# J/ `0 w- r0 I8 Y6 G5 ~　　Your recent complaint　　　irritated
) z; H; h( h0 M! f, x% B' [" m　　Your failure to　　　　lack
5 G* P1 A, M( U0 J* l3 x　　Your misunderstanding　　　neglect
  i- ^' y) [+ Y7 _) A　　Your neglectful attitude　　　objection
+ f7 H. ?' O0 B( N+ \& T　　Your disregard for　　　 obnoxious
　　Your insinuation　　　 offensive
　　Your lack of communication　　 unbelievable
( h$ U7 k  E  T# U　　Your delinquent account　　　uncooperative
1 K5 `* M: ~- S* g6 M　　(4)避免使用有性别歧视之嫌的词语
0 K2 S+ {4 G3 h; G8 W3 c. R　　A.用“person”代替第三人称单数。
　　例如:
* G) |3 u+ X  \　　Instead of: Please share this report with your supervisor. He will find it interesting.
　　Say: Please share this report with your supervisor, who will find it interesting.
　　B.有一些常用的商务英语词汇有性别歧视之嫌，应该稍加改变。
8 R, j. T' L5 w& ^- F5 g             Instead of
                Say
Businessman
9 e0 ?4 U) A$ S, l# hworkmen
, c& s3 Q, ?% O  g- W$ aChairman
+ W9 `, Q1 R; o% [, J" w+ d+ ?Foremen
1 i( Q7 s: A7 gSalesman
* L6 a/ ~3 q$ b3 _6 N' SSpokesman
Stockboy
1 D* C3 ?  v, CWorkman
business person
employees/worker
2 H8 j! R( V3 \& D& Dchairperson
supervisors
2 h( q0 o$ a; Lsales representative / sales person
5 s1 q7 P& t; Cspokesperson
: g. q( B+ S# n3 h, Qstock clerk
employee / worker
( a* ^; l/ H5 p/ [6 K　　(5) 及时答复(Timely Response)
　　例：We will examine your camera to determine the shutter-response problem and have it back to you within three weeks, if repairs axe needed, I will call you for approval to make the repairs.
4 P, ]* ?  k+ p' h7 X8 @6 f　　例：Mr. Smith is out of the office until the end of the month. I am sure he will be able to provide you with all of the information you requested when he returns.