assistant n. 助手,助教;adj. 辅助的,助理的</p> I work in an assembly line in a car factory. Most days, I just assemble car parts. Occasionally, they’ll ask me to assay an unknown drugs substance. Once in a while, I’ll be asked to assist with breaking up a fight. Assault is not common here. But now and then, a frustrated worker will assail his assistant by castingaspersions on some aspect of the other’s work. I’m considered an asset in my company. But before 20 years ago, I was a different kind of asset to an entirely different type of company.
" q5 V$ S5 r5 O+ j" Q3 n, d: f They called it “the company” but it was really a secret government group trained to assassinate political leaders. I never aspired to be an assassin. In fact, I was an aspiring chemist and a regular soldier in the army. All I really wanted was to do something great or important for my country. But sometimes, having too great an aspiration can lead you astray.) M1 @* v' o7 T& p' t/ q" `
I still recall the day of the assembly. It was a small gathering of highly skills people like me. “The company” was assessing our abilities in the areas of weaponry and chemistry. I was a top chemist and a natural marksman, probably the best in my group. They ascribed my success to my steady hands and sharp eyes, the same tools I used for chemistry.5 d9 ?0 `8 N, R. g+ h. u
After the assembly, they gave us our assignments. I was assigned toassimilate into the mainstream society of a Latin American country. It wasn’t long before I was doing things that I will forever be ashamed to admit.
/ `3 g# b* \5 ^ It’s been over for about 15 years. But I’ll never feel clean and I’ll never be able to assert that I have been a good man all my life.
* C% Z' R; |2 ?: X" K% o( F 我在一家汽车厂的流水线上工作。大多数时候,我只是组装汽车配件。有时,他们会让我化验某种不明药物。有时,我又去帮忙劝架。这里很少有人身攻击。不过,时不时会有一名灰心丧气的工人抨击他的助手,就其工作的某方面进行诽谤。我被视为公司的宝贝。但20年前,我被另一家完全不同的公司视为另一种类型的宝贝。
G1 S7 y" h( B) o* B- a A& _/ J 他们所谓的“公司”实际上是一个受过训练、专门暗杀政界领导人的秘密政府组织。我从未渴望做个刺客。事实上,我是个有抱负的化学家,又是部队中的一名常备兵。我的全部思想就是成就大事、为国效力。但有时,理想过于远大只会将你引入歧途。8 E+ T4 p8 I2 [
我仍记得那天的集会。那是个小集会,与会者都是些像我这样的技术精湛的人员。当时“公司”评估我们在武器和化学领域的才能。我既是最优秀的化学家,又是天生的神枪手,很可能是我们小组中最棒的。他们将我的成功归于我稳健的双手和敏锐的眼睛,这也是我搞化学时用的工具。# F; e4 H0 p* M1 Z4 _* C
会后,“公司”给我们下达了任务。我的任务是渗透进入一个拉美国家的主流社会。不久,我就开始做些我永远耻于承认的事情。
* S; E. [' D$ h% Z! N C 这一切已经过去15年了。但我将永远感到自己的肮脏,永远无法斩钉截铁地说我做了一辈子的好人 |