GRE考试：issue官方范文(二)5

会计考友

　As for me, I'll be out back smoking a Don Lino,on a beautiful trout stream while sipping a cold beer, waiting for the trout to rise and hoping a couple of those girls from the Coors commercial show up.  
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　　This is a well-developed response.
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" _3 E: c' }) j2 h5 S( q　　The four-paragraph organizational structure serves as a useful framework for the writer to develop a position on the issue.
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/ U* A" R! l, H. U　　The opening paragraph presents the writer's position ("media in fact tend to create values in a society") and announces the plan to present two examples to support that position.

　　As promised, two examples (music and advertising) follow in the next two paragraphs.
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) X: B. M9 l( n1 w6 \　　The discussion of these examples is focused, relevant, and clear.Using vivid details and an emphatic writing style, the writer shows how music (especially rap and gansta music) and advertising (especially cigarette ads) have negatively influenced American values.
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2 \6 @0 u+ Z$ M　　The final paragraph is an extension of the advertising example, focusing on the Internet as part of the advertising system.

6 o7 T5 i3 E# ]- [& m2 V　　While the writer does little more than speculate on the influence that the Internet might have, this point does lead the reader to the writer's lively conclusion.

9 A0 @. A6 P# R0 v　　The vivid picture of the writer enjoying the media-defined good life ("smoking a Don Lino??? while sipping a cold beer") effectively illustrates the writer's position that the media do, indeed, influence people in our society.

　　Overall, the reasoning is persuasive and the examples are well chosen, but the argument lacks the insight and cogency necessary for a score of 6.
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　　The ideas in the essay are expressed clearly, although precision of language is not a strong feature.

　　Sentences are generally well formed, often adding "punch" to the writer's views.
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　　Some sentences are unnecessary, especially those that belabor the obvious ("These are just examples but I think they are effective at making my point.
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　　I think they serve to illistrate that the media can in fact change our values.")

* M" s) X& X, K5 t3 k- C6 E/ p　　Overall, however, the writing is representative of a 5 essay.
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　　4、
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　　The media does tend to create rather than reflect the values of a society.

　　One example of this observation is the fact that the media is owned, controlled and used my a segment of the population that is usually out of touch with the realities of groups within the society it covers. .. For example, the gangster rappers have gained a reputation for being women hating, anti-authority, and violent.

' x: C+ ]3 E9 ?3 R2 R　　Before, the MTV and V-H1 and CNN provided coverage to these groups, theyre were limited to street sales and specific areas that w ere not mainstream.