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[GRE写作] GRE考试:issue官方范文(二)8

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发表于 2012-8-15 12:52:21 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
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& M4 ?" ?3 b3 p1 @; g7 b  This response is simplistic in its analysis of the issue.
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: v) j! a3 J; a& ^4 v  The writer has much to say about the negative influence of media on children, arguing that the media "should do a better job in trying to create a good, healthy environment."% m" Z5 Q6 `) b* O4 `' m/ ?3 F4 U
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  However, the writer never seems to consider the complexities of the issue -- for example, whether, or to what extent, the topic's claim is accurate, or whether today's media can have a positive influence, or whether society has any influence on the media.( D4 x5 Z% j0 j8 K" k* O7 o8 n

. m3 @) f( f) i- U6 B1 m( \( l! s  Also, some of the statements are not convincing.! [+ e; h7 ]: G2 n0 U

* k% B1 a/ f) \# C" x  For example, when the writer asks, "Why do the T.V. shows tell juveniles that all they get for breaking the law is a slap on the hands?", many readers will immediately think of contradictory examples.
$ c7 U! t8 ~& K: Y0 W : M0 o* l# X3 }, Y1 C; {  A. F
  The depth of thought is not sufficient for this essay to earn a score higher than 3.
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' a- i8 L! R" x9 v: p+ P! Y0 ~  There are problems in expression, as well.
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: T. A( I- S- ~  D$ L% \  More precise language would express ideas more clearly, (e.g., "see all the things," "the bad stuff in our society," and "the awful things," and transitional phrases would help connect several important ideas whose relationship is unclear (e.g., "But I believe that everything in the media can be overcome and ignored.
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  We need to raise our children right").9 K0 x6 p( _1 @! E

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, [% ~) X; h, |0 q8 x4 ]  "The media tend to create rather than reflect the values of a society", is true because society allow the media to pusrue this in such a way.3 C' m6 T. c" N. n

- e" Q% x6 s4 B3 N! [  The American culture as a whole lives through the pulse of the media world and is enthralled by movies, lyrics and film.5 ^. k: O8 [6 e, X
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  Because of the nature by which our society is dependant on the media, the media is able to create any senses of values adaptable by our society.! J2 x3 j& Q& Z- U; D

9 z4 f5 T9 [( S1 _& N  This is not to say that the media is solely responsible for the values of American culture, however, our society makes this creation possible.
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  Although there are many who will disagree with the medias portrayal of many issues, our society as a whole fuels the fire to which the media thrives on.
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" c  s* g% c% o  \) d$ A  For the most part, books, films and music are produced to sell and the media knows to which audience they are targetting.  }: N( L7 `0 R) ?1 m: X

- ^+ @  B; {2 L  The way in which a culture enable the media to create it's values, ultimately reflects the values of a society.
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