GRE考试：issue官方范文(三)4

会计考友

　The first world nations are destroying the second and third world nations in order to fuel our excessive desires.  
　　The world must find a way to come together so that there will be a tomorrow for everyone.

+ z, G  O! a1 u& I" |　　New legislation must be passed that protects not only the environment of America, but the environments of other countries.

& M2 h. @/ J+ u, _4 i5 }' Q　　Big business must also realize that they can no longer use dirty legislation and kickbacks to continue to pollute the earth.

　　Another important aspect that people must learn is that if we cannot learn to recycle and reduce waste, one day we will run out of dumping ground.

　　It is frightening to think that this is what it will to take to make most people realize that actions must be taken to clean up our earth.
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　　It seems that we will only be able to come together when there is not other alternative.
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3 n' L" }+ O" e+ q) s; c6 [( {; w　　Perhaps the must unfathomable thought is, what happens if people do not unite together now to protect our environment.

　　It can only seem that we will once again be threatened with war as we fight each other to death over the last precious miles of land and food.

$ N( w, f* M3 {　　Civilization will have come full circle; all of our technological and scientific advances will mean nothing if the earth is destroyed and mankind subsequently wiped out with it
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) o6 p0 q! G5 O　　评价

' s. Y  `& u( ^9 M　　This is a generally well-developed essay that examines the complexities of the issue and demonstrates good control of the elements of effective writing.

5 Q1 E7 A: s$ j5 {　　The writer strongly agrees with the topic's claim and uses the first paragraph to expand on the idea that environmental problems imperil the earth.

* @+ m6 E/ N. L2 \+ w: u7 o　　These problems, according to the writer, derive from people's lack of maturity ("infantile needs and desires") and lack of foresight ("people are living for today and not tomorrow.")
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　　The third paragraph provides a highly relevant example of the complexities involved in the issue, showing how damage to the rainforest can be attributed both to poverty in Latin America and to the voracious appetite of the wealthy North American "consumer society."
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3 B0 Y3 X7 t; v+ ^; u6 H( G6 a　　From here the writer returns to the focus on planning for "tomorrow" and proposes a specific remedy ("New legislation must be passed????")
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　　The essay closes with a passionate description of a negative scenario for the future.
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　　The response is well organized but, unlike a 6 essay, does not sustain a tight focus.
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　　Although the example of the rain forest degradation is highly relevant and fully developed, many of the reasons and assertions receive only cursory development or explanation ("new legislation must be passed????

# M4 X2 S* ^  h" p　　It can only seem that we will once again be threatened with war????").
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　　The sentence structure in the essay is often nicely varied ("Not only is the landscaped destroyed but????"), but it is at times choppy ("This land is????" "This scenario depicts????" "The first world nations????")

　　The vocabulary is generally well chosen, with words such as "depletion," "unfathomable," and "subsequently."
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　　However, the phrasing is at times imprecise, as in these examples: "We are only a small percentage,"and "At no other time then in our present time has the need??? been more necessary????"