GRE考试：issue官方范文(三)6

会计考友

　　The greatest barrier in any situation is communication.
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　　If we communicate with each other and work together instead of apart results would be seen.
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　　Education is another great concern, especially in underdeveloped countries and third world nations.
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　　There is a lack of education in many of these countries.
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　　Education is the key to success.
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　　In summary I would like to emphasize the importance in unity and cooperation on global concerns such as the environment.
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0 h2 K" Z$ \% u; ~0 X2 z　　Also education is very important in making headway.
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　　I also believe the government should get more involved in these issues.

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　　This essay presents and supports an adequate analysis of the issue.

　　After stating the need for cooperation on the environment, the writer proposes several very specific remedies for environmental problems: recycling, emissions testing, research, education, and communication.

) P% a* {  ~+ a; t- p. [4 U　　The detailed description of emissions testing is useful; however, the other remedies (recycling, research, etc.) are not developed fully or persuasively.

　　In some areas the essay suffers from needless repetition.
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　　Paragraph six, for example, moves from education to communication and back to education.

　　The conclusion, moreover, adds little, merely repeating earlier statements.

　　The control of grammar and usage is generally competent, but the sentences tend to be choppy.
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, s5 g5 t4 f5 o. z* u　　Although most of the ideas are stated clearly, the relationship between the ideas is not always made clear: "Also education is very important in making headway.

　　I also believe the government should get more involved in these issues."