增强语句表现力的方法

会计考友

一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
# {) D; R& L, U; r% p/ S: b+ d 1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如：
+ @8 F. `7 {: z. b2 D   Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)
2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如：
6 X  s! p3 r' F) w, @# F   1) Weak: The team members are good players.Revision: The team members play well.
( `& J$ Q- z! H   2) Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.
. k- U; _' Q5 i 3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如：
   1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
   2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
二、多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如：
. Y8 v* {8 C4 ?1 j& d( e" x   1、Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
0 {$ t8 |2 z$ F; {   2、Poor: She is a careful shopper.Better: She compares prices and quality.
& l. U/ }3 z) T# H9 c3 C 三、尽量运用主动语态。例如：
   1、Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.Better: Charity has supported the organization.
   2、Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
2 I- l0 F( A3 E  R 四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如：
   1、Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
   2、Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
; Y' P1 r, R) g) e4 K4 ^) r8 j   3、Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
   4、Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
- d  U" g' w9 w) O 五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如：
3 k/ i+ s. b7 ?. ?$ G   1、Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.
   2、Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.