GRE作文Argument145详解

会计考友

Argument145
题目：
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
+ \5 ~. l: s  v+ `: y  {翻译：
5 U# U8 i. i/ M# Q9 H7 V) w' s- q一项新的调查所收集的数据显示打呼噜的人比不打呼噜的人更容易长胖。我们知道很多打呼噜的人夜间也经常有数秒钟的呼吸停顿，这种现象被称为睡眠呼吸中断。这种呼吸的停顿导致本人醒来——通常十分短暂以至于不被察觉——并且会使本人在白天很累而无力锻炼。因此，所有打呼噜的人都应该比正常人少吃多锻炼。
分析：
7 ~. h7 s( p# h3 }9 G5 R根据作者的叙述，可以把整个段落梳理成如下的结构：snore——sleep apnea——tired——no exercise——fat（上过张雷冬课的同学都知道撒，我觉得他的这个办法挺好的，这样梳理完，就可以从各个关节入手，开始挑刺了）
/ }2 e# e. M& F. w6 i* l$ k根据梳理出来的内容，我们一句一句的挨个看：
9 q1 W. }! a+ I+ Q8 x( q" ~第一句是个大环境，也就是我们说的前提。这句话摆在这里，万万动不得。引用元老斑竹pooh JJ的话那就是“一定要分清前提和论点论据，有的人虽然每个驳论点都展开的很充分却不知道自己做了无用功，那就是去驳人家的前提，没有抓住重点。这种情况对于新手比较常见。给大家提个醒了”。
首先，作者认为snore导致了sleep apnea。在第二句我们看见many这个字。这个字很可爱的，一看见就自然会想到：“恩？many？到底是多少呢？”所以错误就出来了：数据模糊，不能成为有力的论据。具体的，可以联想到比例的问题，比如说，不知道有多少比例的人真正有呼吸中断的毛病。不知道many的定义到底是怎么样。100个也可以说是many，1000个也可以说是many。但是如果有1W个人打呼噜，而只有100个人会呼吸中断，那就不能说明问题了。
接下来，作者有说Sleep apnea导致tired，然而这个没有科学的根据？“can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. “这句话用了can这个字，很肯定的说法。但是我们可以挑刺说这句话是没有证据支持的臆断。他又说tried导致no exercise，这个是不是一定的？最后作者下结论：no exercise就会fat，难道是必然的？有人喝凉水还能胖呢是不是？从另外的一个方面想，作者下结论说打呼噜的人应该少吃多锻炼。可是作者并没有给出实质性的证据来支持这个论断。也就是说，打呼噜的不一定吃的很多锻炼不够。
) h) c- `+ g# m/ k范文：Argument145
) T. _7 |; d/ J: Q# rA new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
' [/ H0 g3 T. l8 i, LGiving some postulations and a result of a new study, the arguer recommend people who snore to try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. It really sounds reasonable in skin-deep, but such a recommendation does suffer for logical flaws as represented as following.
Primarily, the result of study cited by the arguer is questionable. As a common sense, a reliable result comes from such a study directed by authorities in a scientific way. As part of the request, the subjects who are studied should not only be representative enough for the whole situation but also should be in a large number. Since all the factors are not mentioned at all in this argument, to cite and believe in the statistics of the study is nothing but a reckless and irresponsible decision.

! f7 m$ j5 H) \) H% W$ LNext, even if the result of the study is credible, the arguer still fails to provide sufficient evidence to show the causal link between the people who snore with their eating habit. The fact that people who snore are more likely to gain weight perhaps does nothing with how much they eat. Nothing is offered to prove that they usually eat more or at least equally to the average. It is entirely possible that they eat even less than the average. Their gaining weight is likely to be linked with the snoring habit as the study shows for some nerval diseases. To suggest them try to eat less than the average is an advocacy lack of round consideration.

会计考友

</p>What is more, it is incorrect to advise them to do more exercises by the arguer, too. Firstly, as the same reason mentioned above, there is no necessary relationship between those who snore with their exercise habit because it is kept unknown whether they do exercises enough or insufficiently or too much. Secondly, is the fact suitable for all snoring people that they take pains of sleep apnea? The word used by the arguer “many” should not be misunderstood as “all” randomly. Moreover, granted that sleep apnea makes all snoring people too tired to exercise, it is well likely to make the sense even worse if they are forced to do more exercise under such a feeble physical situation, even cause them in dangers especially without doctors’ direction. In brief, more exercises would probably not be an advice as good as the arguer states for the snoring people’s health.
9 w' `; b; U0 rIn conclusion, the flaws represented above do weaken the arguer's reasoning. His/her suggestion would not be acceptable until more information about the actual relationship between people’s  snoring habit and their health situation is provided. And more exact studies about the food amount they take every day and the extent of their exercise should be waged as well.